i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
