This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
