we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
