I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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