Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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