ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
