i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
