My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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