Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
