i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
