I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
