oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
