You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Alive.
So much puke
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
