Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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