After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
