DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
