I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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