They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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