I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
