you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
