How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
