From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
