Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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