Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
