laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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