new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
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As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
This baby is an asshole
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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