i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
