Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
