Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
