So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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