you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
