Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
