before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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