I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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