In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
