my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's blow job season.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
