she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
