She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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