so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Randomize
