I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
