I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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