I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
