Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
