Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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