she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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