i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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