you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
