he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
