Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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