thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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