Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
its liver damage thursday
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
