they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
